Sunday, June 04, 2006

Literally heard at Fairway

You will love this line I just heard while shopping up a storm at the Fairway market. Any of you familiar with the shopping scene at the absurdly crowded Fairway on 75th street knows evesdropping is just as unavoidable as a few black and blue marks. One young lady was telling her friend in an animated excited tone: "My whole family came last week and I hosted dinner. I was actually totally literally cooking!!!!"
I have only one regret: I let the stranger vanish out of my life before taking the liberty of asking her the one question the answer to which would have blissfully changed my life: what other ways of cooking does she know? I have been literally food shopping, literally cooking, literally up a storm, for literally thousands of people, literally my whole life. I have been literally racking my brains to find an alternative way to entertain and cook: atificially? virtually? symbolically? Other? (I beg you, please specify!)
Well, y'all know me, I am creative, and if I turn up anything, ANYTHING at all, I will be sure to share it with the whole world! I'll bet that will make me immensely popular, maybe even immensely rich!

I'm actually literally totally laughing!
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